Disclaimers: This story is my first and probably last Hayate x Blade fanfic. The characters are the property of Hayashiya Shizuru and UJ Comics. It was done on a whim at Sean Gaffney's request and in return I require a Hitsugi x Akira story from him and will hound him until he gives it to me.

This story is a white lily story and is appropriate for anyone who is old enough to read the word "fuck" without bursting into flames.

Sean says: 'This fanfic was written in only 20 minutes! PUNK FIC FUCK YEAH! This fanfic kills fascists! Also, I heart Nancy."

If you enjoy this or any of my stories on Worldshaking Fanfic, I hope you'll email me, because it really does mean a lot to me when you do.

I hope you'll also stop by Yuricon, home of all things Yuri, for new chapters of my magnum opus original work, Saiyuu no Ryouko, and Okazu, for Yuri news, reviews and interviews.


Where There's Smoke....


Nancy rubbed her temples. She had a headache. It wasn't the cheerful screams of the kids hanging off the jungle gym, screeching like rhesus monkeys, terrorizing the other children. And it wasn't the desperate shouts of the surrounding parents and guardians, seizing their children and dragging them off to a suitable distance.

It was, as always, Sid.

"OMG Nancy this is the most anarchiest rockingest hamburger EVAR, Fuck yah!" Sid jumped up on the table and strummed her guitar, causing feedback that stabbed into Nancy's brain.

"For pity's sake, Sid, get down from there," Nancy grated. "What kind of example are you giving the kids?" She waved towards the play set, where Sid's little brothers and sisters were already jumping onto the top and headbanging to imaginary music.

"Oh." Sid immediately calmed down. "You're right. Hey, you!" she jumped off the table and swung her arm towards the kids. "Behave over there!"

"O~~~kay!" came the noise of half dozen cheerful liars.

Sid shoved the rest of the burger into her mouth. "Seriously, that shit is smoking, Nancy. How did you do it?"

"I cooked the burger on the grill," Nancy started to answer sensibly, but then something in her snapped. Visibly. If Sid had been looking at her, or had been looking at her and not been a complete moron, she would have seen it. Instead, she was composing a little ditty about hamburgers and missed it completely.

Awesome fucking hamburgers

Are so fucking awesome

Burn the fucking things on a grill!

Shit yeah!

Cook those motherfuckers until they are done

Even anarchists have to eat

Fucking yeah!

"Hey Sid?" Nancy's voice was very gentle.

"Hrm?" Sid didn't look up from her guitar.

"You want to learn how to cook a hamburger?"

"Fuck yeah!" Sid stood, her puppy eyes innocently wide with anticipation.

"Okay. Here." Nancy handed her a container of liquid charcoal starter. "First pile the charcoal on the grill." Nancy started to back away as she spoke. "Good, more."

"And I add this to the top?"

Nancy nodded, although Sid hadn't turned around to look. "Use a lot. More. Keep going. Soak them good, so they make a good flame for the hamburgers." She kept her voice very gentle and encouraging as she waved to the kids and pointed toward the van in the parking lot.

"That's it, more." She raised her voice a little.

"Is that okay?" Sid asked, having emptied half the container onto the briquets.

"Oh, yes." Nancy answered, now only about ten paces from the van. "Go ahead and light it now, Sid." She dove under the car as the fireball went up, the trees immediately surrounding the picnic area bursting into flame.


As they drove away from the park, flames visible over the tree line and the sound of sirens growing louder with every moment, a charred Sid stared down at her melted guitar.

"Hey, Nancy?"


"That was fucking awesome! Can we do that again?"

Yes, Nancy thought, smiling.. Yes, we can do that again as many times as you'd like.



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